Tips for Surviving in Beacon Hills
by Loonyloops
Summary: Here are a few things to remember should you find yourself living in Beacon Hills.


1\. Don't be a high school student. If you are a high school student don't participate in any extracurricular activities. And for the love of donuts do not go to the school at night, ever.

2\. Don't be a member of law enforcement. It is a dangerous job anywhere, but in Beacon Hills it is ninety times worse. If you are in law enforcement don't go anywhere alone after dark. If you see something strange, shoot it, a lot, use every bullet you have, then run really fast.

3\. Know who your friendly neighborhood werewolves are. Also, know the not-so-friendly werewolves. (It always pays to know the difference.) If you do know who they are _do not_ blab. That makes you a target.

4\. Know your friendly neighborhood hunters. They can always hook you up with weapons and ammo if you are running low. Same goes for your local gun runners and other, more legal, vendors.

5\. Always lock your doors. That is just good advice anyway, but it will help deter some of the unsavory characters lurking around the area.

6\. Please, everyone is begging you, do not make any sacrifices to any magical trees ever!

7\. Make sure you are not alone outside after dark. There is safety in numbers. A good social life is important to having a life, especially in winter.

8\. Get a calendar and mark in bright highlighter each and every full moon. Plan Netflix and chill nights accordingly.

9\. If you hear a suspicious noise do not go looking for the source. That is a sure fire way to gain some new ventilation in your body.

10\. Don't commit a violent crime. Odds are you would not make it to trial. Petty crimes, go for it. The law enforcement officers have way too many other things to worry about to pay attention to a little breaking and entering.

11\. Do not trust new people. Very little good ever comes from making friends with the new people in town. Sometimes they try to kill you, sometimes you have to kill them. Whatever, the reason give new people a wide berth for at least a year, or until your Spidey senses tell you they are cool.

12\. Trust your gut instinct. If something feels hinky it is probably hinky. No need to fuss about looking stupid, nope out and go home, and remember Rule 5.

13\. Keep insect repellent and killer with you. If you see a bug, kill it dead.

14\. Trust your friends, the ones you've known forever, not the new ones. They will have your back when push comes to shove, probably.

15\. Don't be a teacher in Beacon Hills. Kids are bad enough on their own. You do not need to deal with all the other critters that invade the school. Not to mention teachers have a bed habit of dying.

16\. Being in the medical profession is a noble career choice, unless you live in Beacon Hills. Then you're just begging to become a patient.

17\. Forget about being a nature lover. You do not need to hike through the woods and enjoy nature. Remember, there are a lot of "animal attacks" in those woods.

18\. Remember to nod wisely when someone says there are no wolves in California.

19\. Remember the party line, "It's Beacon Hills" whenever a newcomer or tourist observes something strange. You don't want to be the one to spoil the beans.

20\. Don't worry about minor details such as a person's status on the Most Wanted List. More than likely it's not you they were after in the first place.

21\. Do not assume someone is dead. That kind of thinking tends to come back to bite you, and you do not want to get bitten in Beacon Hills.

22\. Unless you are very mentally ill stay away from Eichen House. Visitors have a less than one hundred percent chance of leaving alive.

23\. Remember, most of the people you meet are more than what you see. That friendly vet that takes care of your cat advises a pack of werewolves, and your nice new English teacher is most likely to kill someone in a ritual sacrifice.

24\. If you see people running, join them. It may save your life, either by getting away from something dangerous or just by getting your cardio for the day.

25\. Brush up on your folklore and pagan holidays. You never know when that knowledge might come in handy.

 **A/N I'm going to mark this complete, but if you have any ideas for more let me know. If I get enough ideas I wouldn't mind adding to it.**


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